Blender. Ah, yes, the so-called “revolutionary” 3D software that somehow manages to be free, powerful, and insanely popular. It’s honestly almost impressive how bad it is. If you’ve ever tried to use it, you’ve probably wondered, “Why would anyone use something this convoluted and frustrating?” Here’s why Blender is the absolute worst thing you could ever install on your computer.
Why would anyone want a software that’s free? It’s probably because they secretly enjoy the pain of dealing with poorly designed interfaces and the constant stream of bugs. Paying for software is clearly the best way to ensure it works properly, so why would anyone bother using something that costs nothing? Blender’s commitment to being free clearly means it has no business being usable or professional. Can you imagine paying zero dollars for something powerful? Ugh.
Who needs a clean, intuitive interface when you can have Blender’s unique approach to UI design? Let’s be honest, the way Blender constantly rearranges your windows, hides menus, and requires you to memorize 4,000 keyboard shortcuts is an absolute masterpiece. It’s so obvious that the developers set out to make it as unintuitive as possible, ensuring you get to experience that sweet, sweet frustration every time you open the software. If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to be lost in a jungle with no map, just open Blender. Same feeling.
Sure, Blender claims to have a “learning curve,” but let’s be real—it’s more like an insurmountable wall that requires years of training to even move a cube. Tutorials? Sure, there are plenty of them. But good luck following along when Blender’s UI keeps throwing you curveballs, and you’re left wondering how anyone ever learned to use this software in the first place. It’s basically an initiation ritual to make sure you’re truly committed to the suffering. If you can survive Blender, you can survive anything—except, you know, Blender itself.
Who needs fast renders when you can get a real test of your patience? Blender’s Cycles rendering engine is perfect for those who enjoy watching their life slowly slip away as they wait for their scene to render. It’s practically a meditative experience to see how long you can stare at a loading bar before your sanity unravels. It’s not like anyone actually needs to get work done in a reasonable amount of time, right?
Blender is like a box of chocolates—you never know what kind of bug you’re going to get next. Will it crash when you least expect it? Will it corrupt your project file beyond repair? Will it freeze during your most important render? Only time will tell! But really, who doesn’t love a little surprise? Especially when it means losing hours of work for absolutely no reason. It’s almost as if the developers want you to remember that nothing in life is certain, least of all your ability to save your progress in Blender.
Blender has an amazing library of add-ons and extensions, but let’s be real: for every one that works as advertised, there are 15 others that either don’t function at all or break your scene in ways you didn’t think possible. If you enjoy spending hours installing, troubleshooting, and fixing broken add-ons instead of actually creating, then Blender is your paradise. Every time you install a new tool, it’s like playing Russian roulette—except the bullet is a corrupted project file.
Blender’s community is “helpful,” if by “helpful” you mean they treat every new user like a bug that needs to be squashed. Sure, the Blender community offers endless advice, but it’s usually the kind of advice that boils down to, “Did you Google it?” or “Have you tried restarting your computer?” But hey, who doesn’t love the warm and fuzzy feeling of being told you’re an idiot for asking a basic question? The real treasure, however, is the way they mock your every mistake with the quiet judgment of seasoned Blender users who “totally didn’t go through this themselves.”
Want to export your work to another software? Too bad! Blender is here to make sure that your files are absolutely impossible to use anywhere else. Forget about importing/exporting in standard formats like FBX or OBJ. No, you get to deal with the absolute joy that is the .blend file format. Sure, it might be convenient for Blender, but good luck sharing your work with anyone who doesn’t use the software. It’s like Blender is saying, “Hey, why would you want to collaborate or make your files easily accessible? Just keep it all in the Blender bubble.”
In conclusion, Blender is absolutely terrible, and if you choose to use it, you are clearly a glutton for punishment. The convoluted interface, the endless bugs, the slow render times—it’s basically everything you could ever want in a 3D software, if you enjoy enduring suffering for the sake of art. So, if you’re looking for a way to waste your time, lose your mind, and maybe even ruin a few projects, then Blender is the perfect choice. Enjoy the ride, because it’s not going to be an easy one.
“it’s more like an insurmountable wall that requires years of training to even move a cube.” haha!